The Taste Bud: Not Just ‘Regular Old Crackers;’ Clemmie Helps Make the Sale
You never know what culinary curiosities you’re going to find when you go exploring. Photos by Kevin Gibson
Back in the early 1980s, Eddie Murphy released a memorable stand-up comedy film titled “Raw” that included a joke about “regular old crackers.” This has nothing to do with the topic Murphy explored so, er, delicately (?), but snacking on Savory Fine Foods-brand Spicy Guacamole “party” crackers evokes the punchline from the bit. As in, they’re not just regular old crackers.
Cynthia and I were wandering through downtown Columbus, Ind., recently and walked past a store called Baker’s Fine Gifts & Accessories. The door mat read, “Howdy.” She said, “Aww, look.” But when I looked, all I saw was the sweet face of a dog that was lying just inside the door. When she made eye contact with us, her tail began to wag. So, of course we went inside.
That dog was Clemmie, a 5-year-old Golden Retriever (or at least a Retriever mix), and she was the sweetest soul you could imagine. (Seriously, just look at those photos below.)
But as we browsed, we started chatting with the employees and the store’s owner, Jeff. That’s when, I believe, Cynthia noticed the packet of Savory seasoning, which is intended to be added to crackers to create a spicy party snack. It’s simple — just add a little oil, add the spice blend, and shake it all up so that all the crackers are coated. No bake, no big mess, just an easy way to keep your crackers from being, well, regular old crackers.
Jeff assured us the mix was “really hot” — other flavors include Texas Chipotle, Cinammon Toast, Sweet Bar-B-Q and Garden Dill — and the word “hot” made me think, “Challenge accepted.” I mean, I wanted to patronize the store anyway, just to help fund some dog treats for Clemmie. But this meant there were snacks in it for us as well. Win-win.
Anyway, Cynthia often makes her own version of these types of snack crackers, which she calls “Fire Crackers.” They’re delicious with cheese or by themselves. So, she took the $8 Spicy Guacamole mix home and made a batch using the Savory Fine Foods blend a couple of days later.
Spicy Guacamole crackers.
Not surprisingly, they were delicious. Sure, they’re just Saltines with some spice rub, and they’re not even particularly attractive to look at (I see dark green on a cracker, I’m thinking mold) but as soon as I opened the giant bag of crackers she gave me, I got hints of avocado, onion and plenty of jalapeno. I started snacking away, and about four or five crackers in, a slow simmer began. And there it stayed, for longer than I expected. Are they mega-spicy? Naaah. But the jalapeno heat is there, and it asserts itself after a while, so they also aren’t pedestrian when it comes to having a spicy kick.
I ate some with an avocado (I love eating avocados straight from the shell), and it was a divine pairing. Since, I have been snacking on them with sharp cheddar cheese. They would probably be pretty great with a bowl of soup, too. All in all, a fun experiment and an addictive snack that is inexpensive and easy to make.
And hey, it was all worth it if only to meet the friendly folks at Baker’s — especially Clemmie. If you’re in Columbus, stop in and give her a pet. She’ll make your day.
The Taste Bud is a column I wrote for many years during the 2010s for LEO Weekly. It was discontinued about two years ago, and I decided to revive it here as an occasional entry into my blog. Hope you enjoy.
