April 1: Local Man Vows to Single-Handedly Keep Louisville Weird

Highlands man off to good start in keeping Louisville Weird. Wikimedia Commons/W.Marsh

This begins a series of looks back at my past work in the LEO Fake Issue. This one hails from 2013. Remember, none of this is real, it’s for entertainment only.

Local resident Anthony “Biggies” Purcell, 34, announced this past weekend that he plans to be the driving force toward keeping Louisville weird.

Standing at the corner of Bardstown Road and Grinstead Drive at roughly 2:15 a.m. on Saturday, Purcell, donning a gray and black toboggan and a wearing a Louisville Cardinals 1986 NCAA championship t-shirt, announced, “I’m gonna keep Louisville weird! Hell yeah!”

His declarative statement apparently was in response to seeing a bumper sticker on a Red Jeep Liberty waiting at the light to turn onto Bardstown.

“You heard me,” he reiterated loudly, pointing at the Liberty's rear bumper. “I’m gonna keep Louisville weird. That’s right! It’s all me, baby!”

Purcell then danced an awkward jig, belched and nearly fell into the street. “Hell yeah,” he mumbled, before ultimately finding purchase with the bus stop shelter.

Asked for comment, the driver of the Liberty declined to give her name, but said, regarding Purcell’s vow to keep Louisville weird, “He’s off to a good start.”