April 1: Three Injured as Bitter Joella’s-vs.-Royals Argument on Facebook Spills Into Streets

From Facebook to the streets of Louisville. Wikimedia Commons/Steven Isaacson

This entry is from 2017, and was based on a real-live online debate that luckily didn’t get physical. Remember, kids, this is fiction.

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Two men and a woman in their 20s were treated for minor injuries over the weekend following a Facebook argument that ended up in a brawl. The disagreement was apparently regarding the debate between Joella’s Hot Chicken and competitor Royals Hot Chicken, both of which serve their versions of a specific style originating in Nashville, Tenn.

Orin Bailey of Germantown started the melee when he posted a photo of his Joella’s chicken tenders with Ella’s Fave sauce, with the caption, “Best hot chicken in Louisville! #getsome”.

Almost immediately, Facebook user Lyla Thomasson responded with the taunt, “Joellas SUX. Royals way better~”. This prompted other users to chime in as well, some pro-Royal’s, and some pro-Joella’s. The debate, which eventually included nearly 30 Facebook users who apparently have nothing better to do than argue about food on social media, raged on for more than three hours.

Posts include nasty comments such as “I would rather eat sh*t than Joellas!”, “U only like Royalls b/c your trying 2 B trendy. #lame”, and “They both SUCCCKKKK.”

Things turned violent when user Randall Mendy challenged Bailey, who had remained vocal in the ongoing debate, to meet him at Royals to show him just how much better the chicken is than Joella’s. “Bet you ain’t even BEEN to Royals! Meet me there in 30 mins or else!”

Police reports say that Bailey arrived to find Mendy waiting on the sidewalk. Words were exchanged as Bevy tried to force a chicken tender into Bailey’s mouth, causing the two to fall off the sidewalk and into the street. By coincidence, Thomasson, who had begun craving Royals since monitoring the debate all afternoon, was seated inside eating. She stood up quickly from her seat to watch the melee, slipped on a wet spot on the floor, and sustained bruises to her elbow and left buttocks.

“What we have here,” said Louisville Metro Police Department spokesperson Stella Fein, “is your classic example of social media gone wrong. For adults to engage in fisticuffs over fast food is a testament to what American society has come to. It’s embarrassing to even respond to calls like this.”

She paused and said, “You got any more questions? I just hear my number called, which means my to-go order is ready.”